Queen of Moderation

Hi Everyone!!

It has been awhile since I have posted anything on the blog. I have to be honest and say that we were not getting a lot of comments and I felt like maybe people had just stopped reading. I guess this blog works both ways. When you guys come and check everyday to see if we have written anything and see nothing, then you start to check every other day and then once a week....it is the same for us. After we write a blog we go on and check for comments to see if anyone has anything to say or add. It motivates us when we see that people are still out there. So a few days ago Ryan updated the blog and we can now see how often people visit the site and where they live. Very cool! It was amazing to see all of the support out there. Over 50 people check this blog everyday. Thank-you all for staying with us. We will try and stay on top of our site a little more now that we know you are all still out there. Some of you tell me that your comments feel silly saying the same things over and over, but we don't care we love them!! Keep them coming.

Another reason I have not been writing is that I am in the middle of three books right now. They all have to do with our environment, nutrition and diet. I am tyring to become as informed as possible so I can help myself stay motivated with my very strict diet regimen. I have so much I want to share with you but I really feel like I need to digest it all before I just start throwing information out at you. For instance, I have a lot more to say about the dairy subject but I have not pulled all my thoughts together. So I plan on returning to that topic at a later
date. So for now I am just going to write about anything that appeals to me and The Queen of Moderation is something I have been wanting to write about for a long time.

Everything in moderation. That has been my motto my whole life. Whenever people would talk about health and nutrition I would respond with the everything in moderation quote. I remember when I used to say that I thought the reason people got cancer or life threatening diseases was because they drank 10 cups of coffee a day, or drank tons of diet drinks with artificial sweeteners, or just plain didn't take care of themselves. It was never going to happen to me because I did EVERYTHING in moderation!! I didn't smoke, drank only socially, soda's were a rarity, I was never sick, exercised regularly, ate salads for lunch (O.K. they were smothered with Blue Cheese dressing.) and just didn't do anything excessively. I thought this was the secret to a long healthy life. I never thought I would get cancer. Actually I could have picked out a few people in my life that I thought were at risk. So saying I was shocked when I was diagnosed is an understatement.

Now that I have been living in the world of cancer for over a year. I have met a ton of people just like me. Moderation was their middle name as well. I guess I am telling you this because it has now become one of those sayings that rub me the wrong way. You can not hide behind moderation. I am living proof that it doesn't work. You need to take care of your body and pay attention to the things you put in it. Please don't just read the things we write and then go back to your old way of doing things without thinking of the consequences. However, if you do, I understand. I look back over my life and remember the warnings about the slippery slope I was on and paid no attention. I thought those warnings were for other people.

The only thing that really bothers me is children. Most of you are adults and make your own decisions but the few of you who are making decisions for children really need to pay attention. My friends and family would do anything for their children. They bend over backwards to make sure their children are happy. They get them the best everything. Any of you that have children know how much time you spent looking for good schools. Take half of that time and look at what you are feeding them. There is a reason that cancer has jumped from 3%-20% in the last hundred years just in children. It isn't their pack a day smoking habit! I hear every excuse from my mom friends. I know how difficult it can be to feed a child something they don't want. I was the pickiest eater alive. I am sure my Mother can back me up on this one. Now I wonder if the lack of nutrition in my early years had something to do with my weak immune system.

I no longer call myself the Queen of Moderation. My life has become a bit excessive, in a good way. Eating a raw vegan diet isn't easy. I fall off the wagon sometimes just like any of you would on any kind of diet. However, everyday it gets easier and I have fewer and fewer cravings. I can taste the difference when a vegetable is organic. I am thinking that maybe my new motto will be the Goddess of Excess. Sounds good!

The China Study

Kristine and I have made a lifestyle choice – eating a raw vegan diet. We are not employing a short term diet remedy but rather embracing a philosophy to take control of our health. We have not made this decision overnight or on a whim. Instead it’s the result of over a year’s worth of hardship and our ongoing motivation to learn more about all sides of the health debate.

I’ll be the first to admit my own skepticism. No matter how much I read on health and nutrition there are still a lot of gaps in the argument for this lifestyle leaving me with plenty of uncertainty. However, a good majority of what I continue to uncover supports our decision, or at least most of it. I am 95% convinced that moving to an organic vegan diet – that is, one comprised entirely of whole, plant-based foods and no diary products – is beneficial if not critical to our lifelong health. However, I am not as convinced (only about 50%) that one need go raw in order to get all the benefits. None-the-less I intend to do my best to support Kristine in this choice.

I have put this special blog entry together to summarize some of what I have learned that has driven me to go from meat lover to reluctant vegan. Like many of you I too was a defender of my own addiction to delicious salty pork, caffeinated beverages and processed foods (among other things) not too long ago. And please don’t think that Kristine and I are now evangelical ministers of veganism pushing our lifestyle onto others at every opportunity. We share our experiences and beliefs when and if people ask (and, of course, via the blog) but we certainly have no hidden motives to turn everyone we meet into a vegan. In fact, we’re not even that good at it ourselves so we would be huge hypocrites if we did. But we do hope to peak your curiosity to learn more for yourself and maybe even share something back with us.

One of the pivotal points for me was reading a book called The China Study. I read it after our Hippocrates experience. It really helped me to put more fact around the stuff they taught at the institute as I was still quite skeptical when I left. The book was written and published in 2006 by a Cornell research professor who spent his entire career studying the health effects of diet and nutrition. He is a recognized leader in pushing independent, evidence based policy through major government bodies. He provides evidence from a vast number of studies that support a whole food, plant based diet for good health. He also discusses the corruption that continues to stand in the way of people’s access to the truth about nutrition and health.

THE STATISTICS
The U.S. spends twice as much on health care as any other industrialized nation in the world ($6,100/person/year). Yet, according to the World Health Organization (WHO) we are ranked 46th in life expectancy and 42nd in infant mortality. The infant mortality rate in the U.S. is twice that of Japan’s and most other industrialized nations. In the last 100 years, mortality rates from cancer have risen from 3% of all deaths to over 20%; incidences of diabetes have gone from 0.1% of the population to 20%; and heart disease now kills over 700,000 people per year when a century ago it was almost non existent. Breast cancer incidence rates in the 1960s were about 1 in 20 women. In 2005 the rate was 1 in 3 women. Since the 1950’s incidences of colon cancer in males has increased 60%, testicular cancer 100%, adult brain cancer 80% and childhood cancers 20%. About 15% of U.S. children are obese with another 15% severely overweight. Obesity among all individuals doubled in just the last 25 years from 15% to 30%.


WHAT IS CAUSING THESE PATTERNS?

Of course, no one can nor probably ever will be able answer this question definitively. It is far too complex to draw causal links between any one thing and a specific disease. In fact most agree that it’s not one thing but a host of different factors acting together that are to blame. However, it’s also not likely a coincidence that we have seen such a rapid growth in the incidence of serious disease, especially in the last 50-60 years. In this time period synthetic chemicals have been developed and introduced for market consumption, processed foods and fast food have become a main staple in our western diet, and more recently genetically modified foods have been approved for use.

All of this has happened with little or no testing of the long term effects of any of these products on our health. In the 1940s about 1 billion new synthetic chemicals were introduced, in the ‘80s that number had grown to 500 billion. The fact is that we can’t keep up. To illustrate this, if just the most common 1000 chemicals were tested for compatibility in unique combinations of three, it would take 166 million different experiments to cover all possibilities. Of course, the actual problem is enormously larger given the number of chemicals we produce. Not to mention, this still only looks at initial chemical reactions, the long term effects of these combinations would be an impossible task to explore.

To compound the problem we have substituted refined and processed foods for whole foods, the kind that humans have been living on and have adapted to for thousands of years. Additionally, studies continue to show a link between the risk of many diseases and the consumption of animal products including dairy.

HOW IS A PLANT BASED DIET SUPPOSED TO HELP?

In The China Study the author goes into detail about the available research on diet and its link to disease. He makes a compelling argument that animal products (including dairy), while maybe not the cause of disease do act as a catalyst for many diseases to manifest. I have given a sample of some of these research findings below, but I encourage you to read the book if you’re at all interested as it will completely alter your perspective on how you view food.

• Perhaps one of the most fascinating studies cited is some of the authors own research work. His team was able to “turn on and off” tumor activity by increasing or decreasing the amount of animal protein that was administered to lab rats (his experiments have been subsequently reproduced). Lab rates were exposed to a toxic chemical known to cause cancer. Studies found that rats given levels of animal protein below 5% saw no incidence of tumor growth despite exposure to a highly carcinogenic substance. Of the rats feed 20% animal protein, however, 100% saw tumor growth. What was even more impressive was that when tumor cells had begun to take form and protein levels were reduced, tumor growth was also reduced. Effectively the team could turn the tumors on and off by changing the levels of protein given. This effect was not, however, true for plant proteins where tumor activity remained low no matter what level was given.
• A 2001 Harvard Review reported that 12 or 14 separate studies observed a positive association between dairy products and prostate cancer. Men with the highest intakes of dairy had approximation double the risk of prostate cancer as those with lower intakes and up to four times the likelihood of fatal prostate cancer.
• In studies out of the University of Oregon Medical School researchers found that they could reduce the progression of MS (Multiple Sclerosis) even in advanced cases by lowering saturated fat levels in patients’ diets (effectively reducing considerably the amount of meat and dairy they ate). In the study only 5% died within 3 years vs. 80% of those who ate higher saturated fat levels. Patents also had fewer symptoms under the diet.
• A report out of Yale University School of Medicine summarized 34 independent studies in 16 countries on the link between bone fractures and dairy intake. They found that over 70% of fracture rates were attributed to higher levels of dairy in ones diet. This is a staggering conclusion since it is commonly accepted in the medical community that fracture rates are an indicator of low bone density and osteoporosis. The researchers’ explanation for this was that animal protein, especially from milk, increases the body’s acidity level. Since our body prefers a pH neutral state it calls on chemicals to neutralize the acidity. The major player in neutralizing the acidity is calcium that is pulled from the bones. So just to be clear, this summary of several worldwide studies provides strong evidence that the milk that the dairy industry advertises as helping to build strong bones and doing the body good is actually weakening our bones and depleting our body of needed calcium. (By the way vegetables are a great source of calcium.)
• There is an incredible relationship between disease rates and protein intake when compared across other countries. For example, breast cancer rates are over 5 times higher in the U.S., Canada and the U.K. compared to Thailand, Japan and the Philippines all of which have a much lower consumption of animal fats and proteins. This strong correlation between consuming meat and dairy and diseases like cancer, heart disease, and diabetes holds true in every case along a diagonal in a scatter plot diagram. What’s even more amazing is that it’s not in most cases (as is commonly argued) genetic. When researchers look at immigrant populations they find that people assume the same disease rates as the people where they have moved – Japanese in the U.S. take on the same high disease rates as native born Americans.
• In studies of Type 1 diabetics, individuals placed on a plant based, non dairy diet were able to lower their insulin medication by 40%. Additionally, a New England Journal of Medicine reported in 1992 that the introduction of cow’s milk to infants too soon after birth shows a strong link as a possible cause of Type 1 diabetes. Other studies have shown a similar link between cow’s milk and autoimmune disease (rheumatoid arthritis, MS, Lupus, etc.) The theory is that our bodies don’t have the ability to break down cow’s milk fully. The chemical product of digestion introduces many foreign proteins into our bloodstream that have an identical composition to our own body’s proteins. Our immune system attacks these foreign proteins but in some cases also attacks our own body in the form of joints (rheumatoid arthritis), the nervous system (MS) or the pancreas (Type 1 diabetes).
• Pediatrics Journal reported in 1997 that puberty in U.S. girls was occurring alarmingly earlier and concluded that this was linked to diet. They found that puberty was occurring at age 8 for 1 in 7 white girls and 1 in 2 African American girls. More startling was that 1 in 100 white girls and 3 in 100 African American girls began to show signs of puberty at age 3. This is worrisome because it has been shown that there is a link between increased exposure to female hormones (estrogen) and breast cancer. Women are beginning menstruation earlier and experiencing menopause later, which is increasing there natural exposure to estrogen. The China Study reveals that Rural Chinese girls menstruate 5 years later than the average U.S. girl. However, those Chinese girls who did begin menstruating earlier had a higher likelihood of getting breast cancer.

Again these are just a few of the startling findings from The China Study that support a plant-based diet.

WHY IS THIS INFORMATION NOT MORE READILY AVAILABLE?

We have heard a lot of political rhetoric in this past campaign year about the influence of deep pocket corporate lobbyists on government policies, especially related to pharmaceuticals and health care. But the problem runs much deeper and is much more complex than just Congressional lobbying. Food and drug corporations not only spend millions of dollars on lobbying government to influence public policy ($91 million annually just from pharmaceuticals) but they also establish complex networks of individuals on influential associations and groups as well as huge PR and advertising campaigns to support their products. Millions of dollars are spent to disseminate corporate sponsored studies that support the claims they want us to hear and advertising is used to reinforce myths about food. In fact, most of the nutrition education literature that public schools disseminate to children is supplied by the food industry: Dannon Institute, the Egg Nutritional Board, National Cattlemen’s Beef Association, National Dairy Council, etc. All groups that have an economic interest in maintaining the idea that animal products are healthy and important to good nutrition.

This is not some kind of conspiracy. It is much more overt than that. It is the way that business is done in every industry. It just so happens that the industries that have the most to hide seem to do the most to maintain their product's reputation. These are very similar tactics to those used by big tobacco companies. I know what you’re thinking drugs and food are not as bad as tobacco. But how do you know? For example, we all take our doctors word for it when he/she prescribes us a drug to solve our ailments. Yet the Government Accountability Office (GAO) the investigative arm of Congress recently reported that over 50% of drugs approved by the FDA between 1975 and 1985 turned out to demonstrate serious health risks. The fact is that drugs, processed and genetically engineered foods, and chemical compounds are not tested adequately prior to being put into the market. As a result, medical care is now the third leading cause of death in the U.S. according to the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA). You read correctly, medical care including adverse drug effect and medication errors kills more people than any other disease except cancer and heart disease.

With all this misinformation it’s no wonder we are so confused about what we should eat.

Scary Dairy

This is another subject that is pretty heavy. Similar to the radiation information, there is just so much to say. This is also a subject that is very close to my heart. I grew up with a big glass of milk everyday and probably with every meal. I will confess that ice cream has been considered a food group for me. Cheese has also become a staple in our diets. Pretty much take any entree and put cheese onto top to make it better. This is of course one of the hardest things for me to give up with my new raw diet.

I am happy to say that Ryan has agreed to share our findings on dairy. We both had an amazing experience at Hippocrates but even the founder, Brian Clement, told us that if we just took his word and didn't look for more sources to back up the information he was sharing we were doing ourselves an injustice. We have both been reading anything we can get our hands on. I am in the process of reading The China Study. This book has been the catalyst for us taking the dairy portion of our diet seriously. They have studies that show how dairy can turn cancerous tumors on and off. AMAZING! I challenge you all to read this book. Ryan will explain in depth the information that we acquired from The China Study. I have also read Dr Weil's books. I think he has a great take on a healthy lifestyle for someone who is still pretty healthy. He has an eight week program that seems somewhat easy to adapt to your lives.

This dairy subject may last for a few posts because it is almost imposable to sit down and put your head around all of the information there is to share. Just a thought to leave you with. Why is it that humans are the only species that continue to drink milk through out their lives while all other animals eventually ween off their mothers. Also, we are the only species that drink another animals milk. I was given this same information over 10 years ago and I choose to ignore it completely. I just thought to myself, how can something that is supported by our government and seen as a healthy staple in our diets be bad for you. I wonder now what would have happened if I had just listened and had been open to the idea of scary dairy. So , I ask you to be open and for once don't trust you instincts. When it comes to dairy they are probably wrong.

Update On Cancer Gal Pals

I have received an overwhelming personal response to my last posting . So I feel responsible to follow up with more news of the girls. I was supposed to see Andrea this past week but she wasn't really up for company so that has been postponed. I have still not heard from Valerie, but I will try and call her again soon. However, I did get a phone call from Erica last night! We talked for over an hour. I love that girl. Against much criticism she is passing on the chemo regimine and only doing radiation. Her doctors told her she will only have 9 months to live if she goes this route. I say, how many stories have we all heard about doctors telling you how long you have to live and they are completely wrong! She has such a great positive attitude and infectious spirit. I am hoping to see her soon. The crazy part is that the reason she didn't call me back after the second call was that she was in Mexico with her husband! I love that she was somewhere nice and enjoying her life. I hope all of you have a wonderful weekend enjoying yours!

Losing It

Last week was an extremely hard week for me. On Thursday I found out about the fertility facts. They were upsetting but reality set in on Friday. I have many friends that I have met through my cancer journey. One of them was my friend Varda. I met her in the dog park about five years ago. She is one of the most quick witted and intelligent people I have ever met. We had always had an arms length relationship until about 6 months ago when she told me that she had stage 4 ovarian cancer. Her cancer actually started out as cervical but went undetected for so long that it spread and became extremely serious. Varda and I would get our dogs together and we would just talk all day. I tried to talk her into going to Hippocrates with me but she was part of a clinical trial for a new chemo and missing even one treatment would get her thrown off the trial. Before I left she was doing really well and had just had a scan that showed no signs of cancer. We were both so excited. I promised her that when I returned I would show her the raw diet and bring Hippocrates to her. I actually called her on Thursday before I went to the doctor and didn't hear back. On Friday I received another call from another friend in the dog park who informed me that Varda passed away on Wednesday and Thursday was her funeral. I just couldn't believe it. Only six weeks ago we were laughing and her scan was clean and now she was gone. Needless to say I was a mess. I am sure many of you have lost loved ones in your lives and nothing ever really prepares you for it. For me, it was my first cancer friend that didn't make it. It hit home. I am still terribly upset by her passing. I truly believe that the chemo just kept breaking down her immune system until it just shut down. Things happened so fast. I will miss her so much and just hope she is in a better place.

Then the next phone call was my friend Andrea. Remember me talking about her before? www.punkrockmommy.org She has also been on chemo for over a year now and she found a growth in her neck that was confirmed to be cancer. They also found spots on her liver. So basically the chemo is not stopping the cancer. It has found a way to spread and is now in one of her major organs. This is very bad news. She talked about going on the intense chemo I was on during my treatment. Since that day it sounds like she is going to look for other options which I am happy to hear about. The doctors told her she had about 6-9 months to live. I am so afraid of that day when I call her cell phone and there is no answer. When will this stop?

After all of this bad news, I decided to try and get in touch with the rest of my cancer friends. Valerie that I met in Radiation has not returned my call. Erica, who I met in Florida at Hippocrates, has not returned any of the three messages I have left. One of the messages included a plea from me to just let me know that she was alright and that I was very worriedabout her. Of course I think the worst. Hopefully they are just in St. Maartin like I was and they are relaxing and enjoying life.

Now that last week is over it really gives me a reality check about my fertility news. Here I am upset about not being able to have my own children. When really I should just be amazed that I am still feeling good and enjoying my life. So if maybe today isn't going so well for you put yourself in any of my friends shoes and feel extremely lucky. As one of my friends late father used to say," We are all just a breath away."

Oh Baby!

Today I went to see a fertility specialist. Ryan and I were thinking about starting a family before my diagnoses. As you can imagine that was put on hold. Now that things are looking up for me we wanted to find out what our options were. We have had many discussions about if having a baby was really a good idea or not. Cancer has a sneaky way of coming back. Especially a cancer as progressive as mine. We decided that we were not going to let cancer dictate our lives. No one knows how long they will live. Who knows I could out live Ryan. We just can not live our lives with the idea that I will not live a long time. It seems to be a very negative place to come from.

So let me back up to one of my first appointments with my Oncologist. My parents were there and my Mother had the foresight to ask if I would be able to have children when this chemo regimen was finished. The doctor pretty much brushed us off and said if I were to get my period back then I would be able to have children. We didn't think that this was a very good answer but at the time we had very little choice in the matter. It was more about saving my life then trying to create another. Until today I just kept thinking that when I got my period back then we could start trying to have a baby. It seemed almost a miracle to us that we could start thinking about the future and the possibility of children. Well, as it turns out a miracle is exactly what it would be for my to have a child of my own. The chemo drugs that I was taking are known to pretty much shut down most women's reproductive organs. My fertility doctor told me today that if I still have eggs it is very likely that they are damaged. I asked if she has ever seen a chemo patient on the drugs I was on conceive. She said, yes... one. I asked about the probability of me conceiving naturally. She said in the very low single digits. I said, "like 5%?" I guess I was shooting high. She made a face and said that it was probably lower due to the fact that I am over thirty.

She then told me the good news. Which is, even though I could not conceive my own child with my eggs, I could still carry a child and use an egg donor with Ryan's sperm. Two of my sisters have offered to do just that. Of course, offering and doing are two different things. Time will tell if the offer still stands. The doctor did order a bunch of tests for me today to check all of my levels. This will tell her if I am in early menopause from the chemo. We have decided to wait awhile before making any quick decisions but as she pointed out, my sisters are not getting any younger either (sorry girls).

Sitting in the doctors office I was very stoic. Similar to when I was diagnosed with cancer. I just took in all of the information and felt like I was talking about some other poor woman's situation. The biggest difference is that today when I got in my car and started driving, tears just started rolling down my face. I think I cried today realizing that there will most likely never be a little Kristine look-a-like crawling around causing trouble and talking back to her mother. I guess any women that has been told she can not have children of her own has gone through this feeling. It is just really sad to me right now. However, I have so many friends that have adopted children and have used egg donors and have beautiful families. There is still so much hope.

Sweet Vacation

I meant to write before we left but as you all know, getting ready for a vacation is overwhelming!! Ryan and I are in Saint Maartin in the Carribean. This is a much needed get away. We are just relaxing, going to the beach, and, of course, a little shopping. The weather has been perfect. We are just enjoying being alive! We have not taken a vacation since our last Feb. visit to Aspen which you all know didn't turn out so well.

I will be continuing my blog writing when we return next week on Thursday. Ryan has been reading a book called The China Study. It is about how food effects our bodies and it has a lot of scientific facts that support everything I have been writing about. So, look for a blog posting from Ryan soon. He is dog earring pages that he wants to share with you. Hope you are well. We are sending you big love from the Carribean.

Kristine

Radiation Everywhere!

I have been putting off writing about this topic because it is really overwhelming all of the information that I have been given in the past few months. I am going to try and cover as much as possible today.

I will start by talking about my past treatments. First of all I will touch on my chemotherapy. I find that it is just a crazy way to fight disease. You basically pump the body full of poison and slowly kill everything including all of your good cells with the hope that you will be able to kill or slow down the bad ones. In the process many people actually end up dying from chemo rather then dying from cancer. I was one of the lucky few that was able to bounce back from chemo. However, what price did I pay for that regimen? I just think about what my heart and kidneys had to go through just to process out all of the toxic chemicals. Actually, what they are still going through. They say it will take up to a year until my body is back to normal. Some day I think we will look back at the chemo process like we look back at blood letting. CRAZY!!

Then came radiation. This is one of the most interesting parts of my treatment because you could actually watch my skin changing color everyday. First of all let me tell you about my visit with the radiologist. He was a very nice man but while I was there he told me that usually sarcoma's do not respond to radiation. O.K. so why I am I doing it then?? I look back on my experience and realize that I did not ask many questions or challenge the things that were being done to me. I just followed like a good little patient and trusted everything the doctors told me. I now wish that I would have been better informed and had asked more questions. For instance, doesn't radiation cause cancer?? I am confused why a cancer patient would be subjected to 2 months of radiation. When I was getting my treatments the girls would set me up and then close a metal door that was about 6 inches thick and leave the room because they did not want to be exposed to any radiation. Interesting?? Now my skin got darker and darker as my treatments continued. When I finished I had a burn the size of a small salad plate on my shoulder. The skin eventually peeled off and you could no longer even see that I had any kind of treatment. It was very similar to getting burned by the sun. Then I went to Hippocrates and they started me on my cleanse. Part of my cleanse involved supplements to help get the toxins and chemicals out of my body. After about one week the burn mark from my radiation started to reappear. It is crazy to think that after a month I still was still carrying around those damaging toxins from my radiation and my body was getting rid of them the same way it received them. Through my skin. My skin is still discolored until this day. I am watching it carefully because I feel like it is part of this healing journey to rid myself of all of the poisons that have been pumped into my poor body.

While I attended Hippocrates many of the lectures talk about radiation and how we are all exposed everyday and how that is effecting our health. I think one of the most powerful points was when they talked about why the cancer rate in Marin county is higher then any where else in the world. They do lectures up there quite a bit and many people will approach them and say, "I don't understand why I have cancer because I have been a raw vegan for ten years and have followed your program to the tee." The answer is quite scary. Marin county is extremely beautiful with rolling hills everywhere. It is also a place of great wealth where people demand the best of everything. This being said it also contains the most cell phone towers of any where in the country. They are unavoidable. These towers send out so much radiation everyday. There are so many towers so close together and the ironic part is that they still don't get great reception. So it is not only about what you put in your body but it is also about the environment you live in. Let me elaborate.

Chemicals on our food of course, but how about the chemicals in our cleaning products, hair and make up products, soaps and body cleansers. Have you ever read any of these labels? The ingredients are filled with all sorts of chemicals that you nor I could even pronounce. There are natural products available but for some reason we just continue using what we know. I am still doing it!! I need to take my own advice. Everyday I change something in my environment. I am not throwing everything out of my house but when I am finished and it is time to buy a new product. I am reading labels. My body deserves that.

Now lets talk about electronics. This is some scary stuff. We are using cell phones non stop. How many of us don't even have home pones anymore? The statistics are unsettling. I did not challenge where they got their facts but I will just pass on what I was told.

1. Using a cell phone more then an hour a week can cause brain damage that can lead to cancer.

2. Children under the age of 16 using cell phones are 48 times more likely to get brain cancer. Yes I did say 48 more times.

3. Using computers is a direct form of radiation. Using lap tops on your actual laps is radiation going right to your reproductive areas. Put something in between you and your computer! Working all day on computers isn't only hard on the eyes.

4. T.V.'s also give off radiation. Be careful not to sit too close. How about how long our kids play video games. YIKES!

5. Going through airport x-ray machines of course have radiation but did you know the whole time you are on the plane you are getting radiation as well. Have you ever wondered why pilots and flight attendants can only work so many hours? They are also known to be among the sickest professionals.

I feel like there are many more examples but I can not think of anymore right now. This is our world and technology is not going anywhere. I don't mean to lecture or try and scare you. I am just the messenger. We all need to look at how much of this is in our daily lives and try and reduce it as much as possible. There is a product I will tell you about called Bio Pro. They are small devices that fit onto your computers and cell phones. They also have pendants and small credit cards that fit in your wallet. Basically what these products do is that they absorb the radiation so it is deflected from entering our bodies. I am not good at the technical info so if you want more info or details or studies on these findings. Then check out their website at http://www.bioprotechnology.ca/I have yet to buy any of these for myself because they are expensive but I definitely see the value.

Sorry this blog is so long winded. There was just so much I wanted to say. I hope none of you feel like I am lecturing you because that is not my motivation. I just really want to make sure that I have passed on everything I have learned. What you do with it is your choice. Take good care of yourselves. Love ya,

Kristine

P.S. I found this article that pretty much just states all of the same facts I have been telling you about food. However, sometimes it takes hearing it from multiple sources so if you have time check it out.
http://health.yahoo.com/experts/drmao/12623/food-safety-what-you-need-to-know

GI JANE

People say that I look like Demi Moore in the movie GI Jane with my new very short hair style. While I was at Hippocrates I wore my wig for the first few days because it was pretty cool and the wig is just like a really nice hat that keeps me warm. As the days went by the temperatures went up and the wig came off. There were a lot of comments on how cute my hair was and how lucky I was that I looked good in short hair and even one guy accused me of having a twin sister with a short red bob. Pretty funny stuff. One night we all went out bowling and one of the guys said I can not imagine you with long hair. I then proceeded to pull out my drivers licence and show everyone my pre chemo look. Everyone said that they liked the short hair better. I am not sure if it was just because they had gotten used to me with my crew cut or if they really meant it. I would like to think that they meant it.

Then comes the real world where people are just being themselves and they don't know me at all. First of all this past weekend Ryan and I went to the mall and I was buying something in one of the stores with my credit card and the young sales clerk asks me for ID. I pull out my license and she looks at the picture and then looks at me with a smirk and says, "When did you cut your hair so short?" (You know she was thinking bad hair cut lady!!) I couldn't resist. I had to reply, "I actually didn't cut it. I had cancer and it fell out during chemo." She was actually really sweet and asked if everything was better now. I of course responded, "yes." I do however, think she will think twice before asking anyone about their hairstyle choices.

Then today I went to the movies with a couple of friends and I was walking toward our designated theatre and I bypassed the man taking the tickets. He of course yells out, "Excuse me Sir!" I then turn around and he immediately says Miss, but by now the damage is done. I of course laugh it off but it does make one think. Cute or not so cute. Maybe all of you keep telling me my hair looks great because lets face it, it looks better then bald, but does it really look good. I am not quite sold. I keep waiting for it to get long enough that I will actually need a haircut and I can have some sort of style other then GI Jane. We all love Demi but not even a movie star could make that hair style work for long. Love ya,

Kristine

P.S. I will try and have Ryan put up a picture of the new hair sometime soon......

Me....Stable???

The word stable has always made me uncomfortable. All of you that know me personally will understand what I mean. I always kind of felt that stable would include a nice 2 car garage in the suburbs with 2.2 kids and the perfect ken doll husband. Now let's not get the wrong idea, there is nothing wrong with wanting or having any of that in your life. It just wasn't my thing. Usually when I started to feel too comfortable somewhere I would pick up and move just to keep it interesting. It was a lifestyle I enjoyed. The only rules I ever had were to not buy anything that wouldn't fit in my car and I never wanted to hear myself say, "I wish I could do that."

Today was one of the first times in my life that I welcomed someone calling me stable. You see I have been holding out on all of you with the fact that I had my follow-up scans on last Thursday. Dr Staddon said that things looked pretty much the same as my last scans. Exactly what every cancer patient hopes to hear. I knew in my head and my heart that everything was going to be fine. Now my goal is to just keep it that way.

Of course, my family and a few close friends knew about my appointment today. Everyone kept asking me if I was worried or stressed. I knew it would be normal to feel that way but I just kept telling myself that worrying about it does not change the results. Besides I have to believe in my mind that cancer is behind me and the rest of my stable or unstable life is ahead. I do know that whatever lies ahead I will embrace it with open arms. I have learned so much this past year and feel truly grateful for everyday to come. I really can not wait to see what tomorrow brings. It is funny that I no longer feel the need to move to another city to keep things interesting. Life has a funny way of doing that for me.

Breaking It Down

I feel a bit overwhelmed by the facts I have learned in the last month. It is weird how you learn things and then to you it is just common knowledge. I keep forgetting to write about some of the more important things that I learned at Hippocrates. So tonight I am going to try and get some of that information out to all of you.

First let's talk organic. Most people know that organic is better because they do not use pesticides to help grow the produce so we don't end up digesting chemicals. When they certify something to be organic it also means that they are using the soil properly. This means that the farmers change the crops to different fields every year and sometimes they will even let an area "rest". This means that the soil gets a chance to regain the minerals it needs to grow healthy fruits and vegetables. What happens in a lot of non organic farms is that they continually plant the same vegetables and deplete the soil of all nutrients so basically every year the plants get less and less nutrients. The thing that most people do not know about organic is that they do not let anyone radiate the vegetables. Many years ago they found that if they radiated the fruits and vegetables they would last weeks longer. Radiation kills the enzymes in the food which basically makes the breakdown of the product much slower. However, by killing the enzymes you loose out on most of the nutrients when you digest it. So not only are you not getting the enzymes you are eating the pesticides. If you don't believe me try this at home. Buy two of the same vegetables, one conventional and one organic and put them on your kitchen counter and watch the organic one break down much faster. You will be amazed. They also don't usually wax organic vegetables, so maybe they don't look as pretty as those conventional ones but basically they are the real deal. The prices for organic are higher but you can see that they are well worth the extra pennies...O.K. Maybe dollars but it is a small price to pay for quality. The more demand there is for organic then the more competitive the market will become. Did you know that Italy just became the first all organic country. It is going to be a few years until the change is complete but it is happening. How interesting that we are going back to the old ways of growing things. I guess newer isn't always better.

I am leaving you with these thoughts today. I have more interesting facts coming your way this week. Hope everyone is doing well and eating your veggies. Just a quick note to my friend Ann...no sprouts shouldn't be brown. Nice job trusting your instincts!!

Kristine

Living It

I have been set free from my raw enviroment for 5 days now and things are going O.K. so far. Orlando was not an easy place to start this diet but I just did the best I could. My sisters were very supportive by driving me 15 minutes to the local wheatgrass place everyday. It made me appreciate how easy it was to be on campus and how everything was prepared for me. I am happy to home and to start learning how to make this work day in and day out. Ryan is being awesome and had the juicer, dehydrater and a new food processer waiting for me when I arrived. Now I just have to learn how to use it all.

The staff at Hippocrates warned me about how people were going to react to my raw diet. It is funny how everyone is really fasinated by what I am doing and everyone has lots of questions. I don't really bring it up but I find that everyone wants to talk about it which is fine by me. However, when they ask me questions, they don't really want the answers. I find that when I answer their questions and tell them what I have learned they always respond in a very defensive way. I feel like I am trying to stick up for this lifestyle choice which is really awkward because to be honest I don't really want to have to do it. I am trying to save my life. Just because I am not eating any fruit doesn't mean you shouldn't eat fruit. I am the one with the cancer. Just because I am doing this diet doesn't mean that all of your diets are terrible and only mine is the right way. My choices are not your choices. I am happy to share my experience with everyone and if you take away nothing that is fine with me. I will not be judging you for what you decide to do with you diet. I am not going to say I won't worry about you if you are eating microwaved foods everyday, because I will, because now I know better and so do you. I will continue to share the information I have learned but I just wanted to vent a little because I am not the raw food poster child. This is really hard for me. It was just three weeks ago that I was eating pasta and drinking wine. Please ask me all of the questions you can come up with and I am happy to try and answer them the best I can but please don't throw those answers back in my face and make me try to justify them to you. To be honest I don't even think I could. I am very new at this and I am just trying to get by day by day.

Hippocrates raw living is a very extreme way of life and they have a great track record for healing people like me. I just hope that none of you are ever in a position like this that you have to make extreme decisions with your life. Maybe if you find the strength to make small changes now it will impact your futures so you will never have to walk in my shoes. Love ya,

Kristine

Graduation

Today is my last day at Hippocrates and it has been a life changing experience. This place is more then special. I am sad to say goodbye to all of my new friends. We are already talking about a reunion next year some place fun. Of course I voluntered to organize it. I have over 25 e-mails of people from around the world. If any of you are interested I will count you in.

Last night was graduation. It would be hard for me to describe graduation for you. It is very emotional and inspirational. I think that if I am ever in the area on a Friday I would just stop in to remember the magic of my stay. You get such strength from hearing of the others who have suceeded before you.

I know I originally said I was going to write everyday of my stay here and pass on the information that I have learned but I feel like I have written alot more about what I was feeling then what I was learning. I have so many things I need to share. With that being said please stay tuned for more of the technical mumbo jumbo.

My sisters, Gretchen and Colette are picking me up in about 15 minutes and then I am on my way to Orlando for three days. I have packed lot's of nuts, sweet peppers, sprouts and two bottles of green juice to get my through until I get home. Do you think they serve shots of wheatgrass at Universal Studios? Wish me luck....I am going to need it.

Happy Anniversary

Today is my one year anniversary of being diagnosed with cancer. I feel like I could take on the world. I wasn't sure how I would feel when I woke up today but I am so excited for my future. Probably because I know I will have one. As much as this last year has been hard on me I am truely grateful for all I have learned. Cancer was my wake up call to a life I was taking for granted. I have to thank all of you because I beleive that it is all of my friends and family that have given me the strength to stay positive.

I know I have complained about my new raw diet and all of you are right. There are going to be good days and bad. Today I am going to talk about the good. I HAVE SO MUCH ENERGY!! I am never really tired. I am also looking forward to not fighting with Ryan about what we are going to eat for dinner. We already know....sprouts. ha ha! The other thing I have found amazing is that when it is time to eat, sometimes I just don't feel like it. I am not on a schedule of breakfast, lunch, dinner. Food is going to fit into my life instead of food dictating when I do things. I will eat when I am hungry instead of when I am supposed to. That is really liberating.

I want to write so much more but once again there is a line for the computer so I must go. I have one last request. Everyone needs to try and have a salad for lunch in honor of my anniversary and I want to hear about what you ordered. Happy lunches for everyone.

I love you all,

Kristine

The Long Road Ahead

Yesterday was not a good day for me. I woke up grumpy and was not happy to be here. I was starting to get over all of the sprouts and green drinks. All I really wanted was a pizza. This food is so mundane. Everyday the same thing. Well actually they always throw in something new but it tastes the same as everything else. I was extremely frustrated and all I could think of was how in the world was I going to be able to stick to this diet for the rest of my life? I keep thinking if it was just vegan I could do it. At least things are cooked. You have way more options and the selection is more interesting. I think that there are maybe ten foods that I can even eat. I am not kidding. This is going to be hard. Harder then I ever imagined.

Here at Hippocrates they say that food is very emotional and social. I totally agree. It makes me happy to eat good food. My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving because all you do is sit around with friends and family and eat. My social calander consists of lunches with friends pretty regularly. The suggestion is that I just order salads and bring sprouts in my purse to put on my salad. Really? This will be an adjustment and it is already a rollercoaster ride. Yesterday, all I could think of was no way can I do this and today I am much more calm and all I keep saying is one day at a time. Let's see what I say tomorrow.

The crazy part is that I missed dinner tonight and I am not even hungry. I am conditioned to want to eat because that's what you do every evening. Also I had been on this diet for over two weeks and I am happy to announce that I have only lost two pounds. It isn't like I am starving or anything. Just craving pizza....and ice cream.....and cheese.....and a good glass of wine....you get the picture.

Train from Philadelphia

When Kristine first told me that she was going to spend three weeks at a holistic healing center in Florida to learn about moving to a raw food diet I frankly thought she had completely gone nuts. At first I thought that the hallucinations she had experienced back in her last round of chemo had officially altered her good judgment. But when my initial reaction of silence followed by laughter was met with sour disapproval, I realized that this was no passing fancy and that I was destined to be dragged into the deep end of the produce aisle.

My research on the Hippocrates Health Institute and on raw vegetarianism left me even more skeptical. There is little research that I could find to prove or disprove that a raw vegetarian diet has any health benefits at all, let alone the miraculous benefits that the Institute's testimonials claim. To me the Directors of the Institute looked like hippy freaks promoting the benefits of uncooked food -- just as nature had intended -- and colonics... surely NOT what nature had ever intended. I mean really, I can maybe get my head around the idea that a plant based diet is a more natural one for humans since the human is the only animal to cook its food while larger mammals (i.e., cows, horses, whales, etc.) live entirely off of raw plant life. However, I have a hard time believing that a plastic tube inserted into one's bum for the purpose of "cleansing" one's colon is the best way to regain one's natural health.

Despite my uncertainty this was about Kristine. It was not about me, the protection of my colonic virginity or my health. At least that's what I thought.

My experience at the Institute was actually rather enjoyable. The campus is a self contained little oasis in the middle of the warm West Palm, Florida sun. The pathways wind around the property shaded by large tropical palms. Benches and hammocks are set into niches carved into the lush green flora. Stucco and terracotta roofed common buildings and lodges are integrated into the tranquil landscape. One small path leads to a large pool area with three therapy pools, a Jacuzzi and a sauna. Waterfall pools and installations trickle and flow at every turn. The campus is peaceful and relaxing making it more like a spa than a food camp.

The wheatgrass shots were not bad at all and I warmed up to the green juice after about the third day. I'll even go as far as to say that I grew to like the cucumber, celery and sprout cocktail and will not mind continuing the practice of juicing veggies at home. The lunch and dinner salads made up of lettuce, a variety of sprouts and sprouted beans, and the occasional special surprise salad left me craving anything but greens. But even these luster lacking meals became tolerable by day four or five. And on my last day the “barbecue ribs” made of crushed nuts had me almost fooled.

On Thursday, I had the dreaded colonic. It was conducted by a small woman with a German accent who had to be in her 80s. She was full of energy and more passionate about colonics than I have ever been about anything in my entire life. She talked me through every step of the procedure to allay my anxiety as if I were a 15 year old virgin boy visiting a lady of the night. She presented the implement and I quivered in a flash of panic. In my mind I thought that my initiation into this kind of thing wouldn’t occur until I was 40+ visiting the proctologist for my first examination. But I put on my big boy pants and let this Dr. Ruth of colonics work her magic. She called my cleanse a “5-star” and at one point as we watch the impacted materials and fluid run through the tube she said, “Look at this train from Philadelphia!” I do feel a ton better after the procedure but if given the option again, I think I’ll choose an extra massage.

I definitely took a great deal away from the experience. The people there have some amazing and empowering stories. Some have come for the first time with hopes, like Kristine, of curing a disease or ailment outside of the limits of conventional medicine. Others are repeat visitors coming to share their success stories and embrace a lifestyle they are convinced contributed to more than just their wellbeing.

There are some truths that all of us should consider and embrace in our eating habits if we care at all about living our lives to the fullest. I don’t know that I am fully convinced that raw is the way to go. But I will say junk food is dragging us down and we all eat way too much animal product (meat and dairy) and not enough plant based food. I myself am going to make a concerted effort to embrace this raw vegan lifestyle with Kristine although I think that reality will cause me to be more of a flexitarian (one who is vegetarian but makes occasional exceptions for social and pragmatic reasons).

Ryan

The Real World

I have been slacking a bit on writing everyday. When Ryan arrived I had to move my accomadations to a house that was about a 10 minute walk from the grounds and it wasn't really convenient. Ryan left today and I moved back to my original cabin so I will hopefully be back to my daily update. I was sad to drop Ryan at the airport this morning. We really had a nice time together. He promised to write about his Hippocrates experience tomorrow, so stay tuned.

Today I was excited to see my Mom! She flew to Florida on Thursday to see my sister and my neice. It was supposed to be a surprise but us Becker's are not really good at keeping secrets. OPPS!! Anyway, we left before lunch to drop Ryan at the airport and when we get in the car I smell french fries! They were not going to be tricked into eating raw. They had stopped by Wendy's on the way. They offered to take me to a raw restaurant nearby so I could get something to eat. I was excited to get something different from my same Hippocrates salad.

The raw restaurant opens inside of a pizza place that is closed on the weekends so it is only open Friday-Sunday. I thought it was open all day...big mistake. On Saturdays they are only open for dinner and the pizza place serves the regular menu. So I just make the best of it and order the garden salad to go. We waited about 20 minutes for this salad and we were short on time. Finally it is done and I go up to pay and find that they had put oil and vineager all over it. By this time I am hungry and frustrated and I just figure that I will make the best of it. A little bit of vineager won't kill me.....right??

Then this afternoon we head to Whole Foods to get me something to eat for dinner. I thought this would be an easy task. I guess I just didn't realize how frustrating it is to walk into Whole Foods and still not be able to eat 90% of the food there. I bought some veggies, hummus and used the salad bar. Of course there aren't any salad dressing I could use so a plain salad with radishes and onion is all I can muster up. At this point I have been in the grocery store for almost 30 minutes and have like three things. I then go to the juice bar and ask them if they would consider juiceing some cucumbers and celery for me if I buy them and bring them over. They agreed. So I get all of my organic veggies and bring them over and they put them through the juicer and I end up with a brown juice. WHAT?? Cucumbers and celery are both green. They inform me that they also juice beets and there must still be some beet juice in the machine. Well, I can not have beets. (Too much sugar) I tell them I can't have beet juice and they start to huff and puff and then I do it....I pull out the cancer card. This seems to shut them up for the moment. Anyway, I finally get my juice and do a shot of wheatgrass and we head home. At this point I am really starting to see how frustrating a raw diet is going to be. This is not an easy venture.

The weirdest moment today was when we were trying to get some help at customer service on where we might find some raw products and she asks me if I am vegan. I answer yes but I am thinking to myself no. It just isn't me.....yet. It is going to be a hard transformation. Wish me luck because I am going to need it.

Don't Believe It Till You See It

I am your biggest skeptic. I feel like I am always questioning everything I am told. I am not afraid to be different or to stand out. To break it down, I have a big mouth and I am not afraid to use it. Some say it is part of my charm. ha ha!!

So when I decided to come to Hippocrates I didn't know what to expect. I wanted to be open to any possibility that might make me well. I just didn't want to continue to live the same way I had been before cancer because that apparently didn't work out so well. Also, if the cancer ever comes back no one could say that I didn't try everything to beat it. I will be honest, the raw vegan diet was not appealing and it still really isn't. It is going to take some getting used to. I will say that the things I have seen so far are big motivators.

First I met a girl named Julie. She is in her late 40's or early 50's. The first day of being here we compared our cancers. She has a cancer that started in her mouth. (no she doesn't smoke) The cancer had spread and it was on her sternum and neck. The tumor on her neck was sticking out and was the size of half a baseball. It was hard to miss. She read about Hippocrates before she came and started wheatgrass shots twice daily and saw some improvement. Her diet still wasn't quite right, kind of like mine was with lots of sugar. Since she has been here I have watched her everyday and have seen with my own eyes the tumor shrinking. She has had no medications or chemo. She refused them all and decided to go the natural approach. It is amazing to see that kind of progress in under two weeks. It is stories like Julie's that give me strength to keep on eating raw.

My own interesting fact is my hair. The first time it grew back it was probably 50% grey. When I started my next round of chemo, after my surgery, I decided to give up red meat. When my hair grew back the second time it didn't look as grey. I thought it was just my imagination. However, as I have been here, my hair gets darker everyday. Once again I thought I must have just been in bad lighting but people keep commenting on my hair getting darker. It is hard to deny that they are right. I have also looked around at all of the people that work here. Some in their 60's and 70's and they don't have a grey hair on their heads and let's not even talk about wrinkles. How do you explain that. You might say they dye it. I would have to tell you that I could spot a dye job a mile away. I have been dying my hair since I was 18 after all. What it comes down to is that there has got to be something to this lifestyle. I keep trying to find some flaws in it so I can continue to have pizza, wine and chocolate but I am running out of excuses. If I find one you will be first to know.

Love ya,
Kristine

but, But, BUTT!!!!

O.K. I have been holding out on all of you. I didn't want to give away all of the details until Ryan arrived. I was afraid he would find an excuse to cancel. I know I told everyone that I would be doing a colonic and I was fine with that. What I didn't know was that the program included more then I had anticipated. When I arrived I attended a class on cleansing your system. This includes daily enimas that you give to yourself. I for one have never done an enema. I was immediately uncomfortable. However just when they finish with that lecture they tell you after your enema you need to do a 4ounce implant of wheatgrass twice a day. Implant? What is that? Oh, please let me explain. An implant is just like an enema but you try and hold it for up to 15-20 minutes. O.K. so now I have signed up to have a colonic, a daily enima and twice a day I need to put 4 ounces of wheatgrass up my butt. Let me just say that my rear end has never seen so much action. It did take me a couple of days to build up the courage but once I did it wasn't really a big deal.

The reason for using the colon is that it absords better then taking things through your stomach and digestive system. There was one more treatment that they wanted me to sign up for but I passed. It was a mineral compound called silver that helps boost the immune system. However, you will never guess where they wanted me to put this. Think hard........I know you can get it...........Just think about the busiest place in Florida and no it is not Disneyland. Oh yes, you got it......my anus! Again, I passed.

Now onto the colonic. I had my first one yesterday. I was told I did very well. She said I was a very good releaser. Great! I will be sure to put that on my resume. It is a very intense experience. Once they filled me up with water, I looked about 3 months pregnant. My stomach was huge. Then the releasing started. It is crazy to watch all of that junk coming out of my body. She pointed out things of interest. Such as hard deposits that were wedged inside, she also told me that I needed to chew my food better. The whole experience was interesting but about half way through I did want that tube out of my rear. I was starting to get uncomfortable. I did make it through the whole hour and I have one more scheduled before I leave. Of course, I will keep you posted on all the DIRTY details.

How is Ryan doing??? I will let him give you his own opinion. He has agreed to write after this week on his own findings at Hippocrates. He is not sure if he is completely on board for the whole program and that is totally up to him. I will be interested in his view.

Rybaby Arrives!

Sorry that there wasn't a posting this morning. The computer was down last night. I have to run to make it to all of my lectures but just wanted to let everyone know that Ryan made it and he is adjusting very well at the moment. He did however go on a bit of a binge before he got here so he might have some detox problems this week. Until later,

Kristine

No Nukie Nukie!!

So when I started this program I promised myself that I was not going to preach to all of my friends and family and tell them what to eat and not eat. I know that if the tables were turned I would be eating a big fat steak with red wine right now. However, I need to lecture just this once. (O.K. there might be a few more but I pomise only worthwhile information.) With that being said, lets talk microwaves. My plea of the evening is to please stop using them!! When you heat up anything in the microwave it changes the molecular structure of the food or drinks and then they are no longer even the substance that you initially put in there. They become extremely toxic. I hope my mother is reading this right now and will stop warming up her coffee in the micro. Make a new pot. It costs under a dollar. As much as I am worried about my Mother. I am more worried about all of my friends and family that have kids. Please, Please, Please don't cook any of your childrens food in the microwave. They all deserve the very best!

I will tell you about a study that was done at Hippocrates and if you don't beleive it you can do your own study at home. It might just be really educational for you and your family. So they took two of the same plants and started watering them. In one they used good clean water. In the other they would use water that had been in the microwave. Needless to say that the plant using the microwaved water died within a few short weeks. There are more facts to the microwaving but I am not going to list them all. Just please think twice before putting anything in there.


When I arrived at Hippocrates I was wearing my short red wig that is in the shape of a bob. People kept coming up to me and telling me how much they liked my hair. "What a great cut." "I love the color!" I didn't really tell them it was a wig. I figured they would find out soon enough when I broke out the new hair style. Right now my hair is about 3/4 of inch long and pretty much looks like a cap. It is about the length you would expect from someone that just got out of the army. I think it looks extremely masculine. However, everyone else tells me how great it looks and that I can really wear short hair. I am not sure if they are just being nice or that they truly believe I can pull off a crew cut. Today I found out.

When Gretchen picked me up and we went to do some shopping. We decide to try on some things and headed to the fitting rooms. When we got back there I saw this very pretty women trying on the most elegant dress I have seen in a long time. As we were trying on clothes I kept talking about how great the girl had looked in the dress. I was going on and on about how great she looked, when Grecthen says, "Well don't tell her." I replied, "Why not?" Then she says, "Because she might think you are hitting on her." We cracked up. Really, as much as I might be able to pull off really short hair. I still look a little like a lesbian. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I am looking forward to a few more inches.

Well Ryan arrives tomorrow and I have a feeling that it should be an interesting week. I am hoping that I might be able to get him to write a blog and give his opinion of Hippocrates. He has alot of surprises ahead. I have given him no warnings of any kind. I want him to have his own experience. All I know is that I am very lucky that he has decided to come and experience this with me. All of my new Hippocrates friends are blown away by the fact that he is even coming. The only thing I know he will enjoy is the 80 degree weather. I heard that there was a big snow storm up north last week. Hang in there my frozen commrades and have something warm, just don't microwave it!! Love ya,

Kristine

Living in the RAW!

So today was graduation day for all of the people who have been here for their three weeks. It was incredibly moving. I can't really put it into words but it was truely an experience. They called each one of the graduates forward and they all had something to say. Some were intense, some were sweet and some were just plain hysterical. It is sad to see some of these people leave, but you can see in their eyes that they are excited to get home and start living in the raw.

So when I first arrived they took my blood and they are doing multiple tests to check all of my levels. They also did a finger prick and looked at my blood under a microscope. They were actually surprised at how good my blood looked for someone that had been through chemo and radiation. The cells were sticking together and did not have a lot of oxygen between them but I guess this is normal if you are not eating a healthy diet. The Doctor did say when she looked at my blood that she could see that the cancer started over ten years ago. She asked me if anything tramatic had happened to me around that time. I am not sure how accurate her diagnosis was but it was extemely interesting.

At this appointment with the Doctor they look everything over and decide what supplements you should be taking. She then assigned me 8 different supplements. When I left all I could think of was...I hate taking pills!! I then added up all of these supplements and realized they were going to cost me over $500.00. My first reaction was, no way. I planned on going back to her and asking if I could scale back on the supplements. Then as I was walking I started to think. I never questioned any of my oncology doctors when they prescribed all of their drugs. I just trusted them and paid whatever the price. I then decided that if I was going to believe and trust that this lifestyle can work then I needed to go for it and not question them. At this point I have seen and read so many sucess stories about people who were like me and told that they had uncurable cancer and are still here to tell their stories. I will be one of them!!

Tomorrow night I am going off property with my sister Gretchen and spending the night with her. This will be my first test out in the real world. I will not lie to you.....I am nervous. I don't have the best will power when it comes to food. I actually had my follow-up therapy appointment today, (yes, I cried for the whole hour.) and I told him that it frustrated me to think that I would go off this diet when I know it could save my life. Don't I care enough to save my own life. Is a peice of bread with butter really worth it.....no.....but maybe a glass of wine is. Ha Ha!! Anyway, I just keep telling myself that I will do my best and anything I do is more then what I was doing before.

Well as a last note I have to tell you that the computer I am writing on is in the gym and there is this guy working out and he is grunting and groaning so much. It sounds like he is having sex. It is a bit disturbing. I can barely pay attention to what I am writing. Until tomorrow,

Kristine

P.S. This is to answer my friend Andrea's question about what we eat for breakfast. We actually don't eat breakfast. The green drinks keep you very full and you really don't need anything else. I was assigned breakfast if I wanted it because I didn't want to lose any more weight but I was never really hungry for it so I passed. So far I have only lost two pounds. We are not starving here, that is for sure.

Hip Hip Hippocrates!!

So things are going well. Today was once again extremely busy and I am very tired right now. It is amazing how much energy I have yet I am so out of shape. I have been attending classes such as yoga and pool aerobics and have been stuggling to get through them. I actually only spent 5 minutes on the eliptical trainer today and had to quit. I remember when I could just jump on at any time for at least 30min. However, I find it funny that I can only last 5 minutes on the eliptical but I could shop for 8 hours straight without a break. Very interesting.

Today we had two lectures one was on why we should buy organic. It was actually pretty boring because it is all of the reasons we already know. Of course we should buy organic but there always seems to be something that gets in the way. I won't go on about this subject because I think it is a no brainer. Next time you go to the grocery store remember you deserve the best and just suck up the extra cost. Your body is well worth it.

We then had a class on kitchen techniques. Well if I thought raw was complicated before, I was right. You have to be extremely organized and you have to be thinking about what you want to eat 3 days from now. Everything takes prep. I thought I would be good with at least nuts for a snack but oh no, you have to soak them and then dehydrate them to make them pure. Being vegetarian is not enough on this program. I also found out more of my favorite foods are big
no no's. Such as black beans, any kind of vineager, wine, cashews, peanuts and of course cheese. They even have a big article about soy products and how they are genetically minipulated and are not good for you at all. I kow what you are thinking right now because I am thinking the same thing........what's left? Well there are a lot of options but it requires some creativity. At the end of the lecture he made us some taco meat out of walnuts. I couldn't beleive it, it was awesome. Who wants to come over for taco's when I get home becaue I think I will be making those ever night. : }

After all of this I was feeling a bit defeated and wondered how I was going to make this work in my everyday life. Then there was a lecture from a previous attendee that came here to talk about her story. She was diagnosed with sarcoma in her leg and basically after three opinions the docters told her that she would have to have her leg amputated or she would die. This was not an option for her so she came here to Hippocrates instead. She cured herself of cancer twelve years ago and still has both legs. Thank god because this 81 year old needs both legs for her ballroom dancing classes!! Very inspiring. After hearing something like that you tell yourself, "I can do this!!"

It isn't easy being green. Love ya,

Kristine

P.S. Still no spell check......I count on that my spelling is nicht ser gut!

SHHHHHHHH ittttttttt

First things first. I sucked at silent day!! I made it until about 6pm and at that point I was starting to get depressed. My roomate Jane, who is hysterical, and was also participating in silent day walked into our room and I tell her that I was done and I didn't enjoy it at all. Her reply was, "I didn't like it either, it made everyone else that much more annoying." So of course we have been talking non stop since. I will say that I learned one thing and that is that I love to connect with people. Not that I didn't already know that but for me the experience isn't as complete without getting other peoples input. Now when I told Ryan I was participating in silent day he replied, "That sounds like my dream day." So when he arrives I will let him try the silent thing and we will see if maybe he has a different reaction. So to sum it up, it isn't for everyone.

I feel like I am learning so much here. I am in lectures for 3-4 hours a day and I can not possably pass it all on. I have decided to continue to share my experience with everyone but I am going to have a list of books that I recommend at the end of my stay if anyone is serious in jumping on the raw band wagon. My favorite point today was if a steak is so full of protein how do you think the cow became protein, by eating a steak? Hello, they eat raw leafy greens or they should anyway. Who knows what they are eating these days.

I also had a consultation with a stress pshycologist here. It is part of the program. We meet with him for a half hour and then we meet again for an hour session. He told me that at the beginning of the next session I had to tell him what my three biggest wishes are for myself. This immediatley makes me cry. It has been a long time since I felt like I could even think about my future. Being here makes me really believe I have a future. I have always talked about my cancer in a positive way and I have tried not to let it get me down but I was never quite sure how I was going to be able to achieve my goal of being cancer free. Now I see that it is very possible. So many people before me have come here with cancers just as bad as mine and have walked out changed and living healthy lifestyles. I am not going to say it is going to be easy. I was actually craving some french fries tonight. Thank god I don't have a car here or I would probably be at Wendy's right now. YIKES!!

So, I received a package today and I felt like it was Christmas morning. I feel a bit like a kid away at summer camp. Everyone around me was so jealous that I had received a box. So a big thank-you to Jackie. You made my day! I am not trying to guilt the rest of you into sending me packages. Especially after my plea for mail. Seriously I love the blog postings just as much. O.K. almost as much. hee hee!! Hope to TALK to all of you soon!

Kristine

Hippocrates
Attn: Kristine Becker
1443 Palmdale Court
West Palm Beach, Fl. 33411

P.S. The spell check is not working. Sorry. : (

Rah Rah Raw!!

O.K. There is a line for the computer so this is going to have to be a fast entry. Let me tell you what a day at Hippocrates is like:

8:00 first shot of wheat grass

9:00 Cucumber juice or green juice. It is actually quite tasty!

11:00 Another green drink

12:30 Lunch. All living greens. Lots of sprouts and vegetables. We do use a little olive oil and they have some pretty good raw dressings. Usually they will have a fun side dish. Yesterday was sushi and today was zucchini that spiraled like pasta with a yummy sauce.

4:00 Another Green Juice

5:30 2ND shot of wheat grass

6:00 Dinner. A similar but smaller portion then lunch.

Then water or tea the rest of the evening. The amazing part is that I hardly ever feel hungry. The day is full with all kinds of classes. From lectures to yoga. Everything has been very interesting so far. I am leaving so much out right now!!

Tomorrow is silent day. YES SILENT!! As you all know that is going to be very hard for me but I am up for the challenge. My friends Mike and Windy call me Captain Jibber Jabber. How fitting!! With that being said I will have a lot more time to write tomorrow so until then.

Sending Big Green Love,

Kristine

Frightened or Enlightened?

Thank-you so much for all of the comments. I got so excited tonight when I opened up the blog and had so many responses. It makes me feel like I am still connected to the outside world. It is amazing here but we are definitely in our own little paradise. They encourage you to not use your cell phones while you are here so I am pretty much just checking messages and returning any necessary calls. Other then that I was going to include the address to Hippocrates because I can receive mail here. I am not sure why but I think it would be really cool to get real mail.

So tonight we had a lecture about why we came to Hippocrates and the speaker Andy said that most of us were here because we are either frightened or enlightened. I loved that. Of course I am one of the frightened ones but I am not alone. I would say almost 60% of the people here are in my same boat. As much as I am committed to sticking to this raw diet, I relate to the people who would never go raw even more. I never thought anything was wrong with my diet. To be honest I thought I was pretty healthy. They told us to try and go raw a week or two before we arrived. Let me just say that I had pasta, pizza and wine the night before I arrived. OOPS!!

I am actually pretty happy that I waited to go raw because I had it all wrong! First of all I am supposed to stay away from fruit completely. It is extremely high in sugar. Now I knew this but I thought it was a healthy sugar. I mean it isn't a candy bar or anything. I also was eating a bunch of carrots and even had carrot juice. Big NO NO!! Carrot juice along with beets are also full of sugars. So many things I am not supposed to eat. Good thing I was eating french fries instead. (just kidding)

Today's biggest lesson was about protein. We have heard so many times that we need protein for a healthy diet. I can not tell you how many times people have asked me where I was going to be getting my protein from if I wasn't eating any meat or dairy. It ends up that the protein coming from meat is a complete myth. Don't get me wrong, there is protein in meat but there is more in live green foods then any steak you could serve. Their point was that there are so many mammals on this earth that only eat leafy greens and survive with plenty of protein. Like the 2000 pound cows that we eat on a regular basis. If they were left to their own devices they would just graze and eat grasses. I was taught today that one 2 ounce shot of wheat grass is equal to 5 pounds of vegetables. WOW!

It was an extremely busy day from 8am until 10pm. Pretty much non stop learning. I am looking forward to maybe a little bit of a slower schedule tomorrow. Sending you big green love from Florida,

Kristine

Hippocrates Day 1

My friends Leigh and Jason drove me to Hippocrates today. Jason was last here 16 years ago when he suffered so badly from Chronic Fatigue that he was in a wheelchair and slept over 20 hours a day. He and Leigh had talked about coming here for years. Finally he returned, only to find that he would have liked to stay longer then 2 hours. There is something very special about this place. It is very peaceful and embracing.

I personally have had a very emotional day. I am not sure why but I have been fighting back tears all day. I have been holding it together but it is weird that all of a sudden I have become extremely emotional. Maybe I feel like I am letting down my guard. Sometimes I feel like a cancer spokes person. I want people to see that you can have cancer and still be happy and laugh and not let it take over your life. Here I have zoned in on my goal and it brings having cancer to the surface. No lunches out, movies, boutique shopping. Nothing to distract me from this very real disease. Tonight we sat around in a circle and had to introduce ourselves and explain why we decided to come to Hippocrates. When it was my turn to speak, I let everyone in on my stage IV cancer and what the last year of my life was like. I was surprised to hear my voice crack. The women running tonight's session had explained that yes you came here to learn about living raw foods but what you didn't plan on is the emotional and spiritual journey that you all have signed up for. I am already beginning to understand what she meant by that.

So I had pretty much two big salads today and some water. The salads consisted of mostly sprouts. They tasted pretty good. I was surprised to find out no vinegar. I guess they consider that as bad as alcohol around here. I am sure I will learn more when I attend the classes. Tomorrow is avocado day. I can hardly wait!!

RAW-some

Here I go!! I leave tomorrow for Florida and the beginning of my three week stay at Hippocrates. I plan on blogging everyday if possible. However, they only have one community computer so I will have to see how that goes. I am getting really excited about going raw. I am sure it will be another crazy experience.

Ryan is joining me on my second week and will be staying for one week. He is nervous about the free colonic that they offer. You can trade it in for a massage if you don't feel comfortable with the colonic. He says that the massage sounds more relaxing. I will be trying the colonic and will try and describe it as delicately as possible.

I hope to hear from everyone while I am there. I am sure I will make a couple friends but that actually worries Ryan more then anything. He thinks he is going to show up and I will be wearing a dress made of hemp and signing kumbaya with all my new hippy wheat grass drinking friends. Crazier things have happened. Peace, Love, and Save the Whales!!

Kristine

Friends, Friends and more Friends!

Ryan always makes fun of me because I make friends everywhere I go. I have made friends in one day Excel classes and more friends traveling and I have even made a friend on an airplane. So it would only be fitting that I would make friends during cancer. I have not made many because I was not really in to going to support groups. I have never felt like getting together with a bunch of cancer patients and hearing each others sad stories. Maybe that is not what it would be like but in my mind I saw a bunch of bald, crying and desperate people feeling sorry for themselves. Not my cup of tea.

The first friend I made was after my second round of chemo. I was in for my follow up appointment and was waiting for a shot of some sort when I started talking to this girl named Andrea. She was in for her first round of chemo. We are about the same age which you don't see very often. As we were talking, of course she asks me what kind of cancer I have and I tell her. I then ask her. She tells me she has IBC breast cancer. (Which is a very aggressive and rare form of breast cancer.) We start giving more details about our situations to find out that we are both stage IV and both have extremely aggressive cancers. We then start comparing chemo treatments. I have to go 4 times a week with follow up treatments at home in the evenings and weekends and she tells me that she only comes once every three weeks. I was very surprised. I assumed that she had not received all of the details. Andrea then asked the chemo nurse to make sure and she confirmed her schedule. I then say, " How can you come only once every three weeks and my chemo lasts a full week." She then replies, "Well that is probably because they want to save you more then they want to save me." We both start cracking up and I knew right then and there that I had just made my first cancer friend. Since that day we have seen each other go through major operations. (She had a double mastectomy 6 weeks after my heart surgery.) She unfortunately did not receive the break I have and her cancer has all ready come back. She now goes to chemo once a week for at least the next year. I have been lucky enough to have met her family and friends and like me she has lots of great support. I wanted to tell you all about her because she has an amazing blog and I love to read it. Unlike me she is extremely good at keeping up with her postings. She also has six amazing kids that I have been lucky enough to meet. If you get a chance check out the site at www.punkrockmommy.org

The next friend I made was in radiation. Her name is Valerie. To be fair my mom actually met her mom while we both were there for treatment. I later ran into them again and introduced myself. Valerie is also my age and she has a brain tumor. Our lives are so similar it is scary. We were both extremely independent people before cancer made us ask for help. It is a hard thing when you are used to being so independent to then need people to help you. I have become quite good at just saying, "thanks" and not feeling like I have to return the favor. The crazy part about Valerie is that she had brain surgery the first time around and they thought they got everything but as it turns out they did not. She has since had a second surgery and when they removed the tumor she lost most of her short term memory. Now she has to have 24 hour supervision. After running into her a few times at radiation we decided to get together for lunch. She then gave me her number and told me while laughing, "don't feel bad if I can't remember you tomorrow."

I guess the reason I am telling you about my new friends is that I want you to know that there are a lot of people like me out there that are just making the best of a bad situation. I think the one link that I have most in common with both Andrea and Valerie is that we have not lost our sense of humor. A lot of the time cancer pretty much sucks but sometimes it is pretty damn funny. I love to surround myself with people who can help me find the humor in all of this craziness.

Looking forward to 2008!

The holiday season was a blur and we hardly did anything. I am sure it is the same for all of you. It is a crazy time of year but it is always exciting to have a new year ahead. Leaving behind 2007 gives me some relief. I am not sure exactly why. It is amazing how just a change of dates can help you breath a little easier. It is a time for new beginnings and I am more ready then I have ever been to embrace my life. I feel like I have to make up for a whole year lost. However, I realize that although I lost time, I gained so much more. It is hard to put into words how this year has changed me. Having a life threatening disease makes you look through clearer eyes. Problems that would have consumed me before now seem silly and a waste of precious time. I wish I had the words to help you understand how I feel. Not that I would ever wish cancer on anyone, but I do wish you could know how special today and tomorrow really are. It is impossible to understand fully without knowing what it feels like to almost lose them. Anyway, to bring in the new year, I have two stories for you. One pretty amazing and one very funny.

As you all know, if you have been reading this blog, my girlfriends went on a maRAWthon to help send me to a raw food institute in Florida. They raised funds by e-mailing their friends and family and asking them to pass it on, and so forth. Well, to make a long story short, they received a donation from Sharon Stone. Yes, The Sharon Stone! It makes you realize how small the world really is. I can not thank my girlfriends enough for their selfless act of helping me in this journey to get well. I plan on blogging everyday from Florida so I can pass on the wealth of information I am learning. And who knows, maybe you too will go raw. Hey, maybe even Sharon Stone will read my blog and jump on the raw bandwagon... crazier things have happened! Thanks to everyone who donated... especially my new BFF Sharon!

The second story begins with me running very late to meet a friend. I got out of the shower and threw on my clothes. (Probably the same ones from the day before.) No time for make up or even to think, "do these shoes go with these pants." Blah blah blah... time to go!! I then turned to the place where my wig hangs every night -- on the very small head of a bronze replica of Degas' ballet dancer, the preferred place for my short red bob. However, not today. Where could my wig be? I always put it on the statue before bed. I ran around the house looking in every room, but I could not find it anywhere. Five minutes turned to ten and I started to get desperate. Then out of pure habit, as I do when anything is lost, I went to the couch and started to pull off the cushions. Low and behold, there it was behind the cushions. UNBELIEVABLE!! It was flattened out but still in decent shape. I gave it a fluff, throw it on and run out the door. I think I laughed all day. I never thought I would loose my wig in a couch. But, then again I never thought I would be wearing a wig! I guess you never really know what tomorrow holds.

Happy New Year and sending lots of love. I hope to see you all in 2008!