11/19 - Sorry it's Been a While

Kristine continues to receive daily radiation treatments that will last through the middle of December. They’re fairly routine and quick, each treatment lasting only a few minutes. She lays in a long CT scan like machine with her arm and shoulder in a custom fitted mold to ensure exact repeatability of each localized treatment. A large box is lowered onto her shoulder aligning with several pinpoint tattoo marks that have been permanently inked onto Kristine’s skin, again to ensure exactness.

Radiation doesn't have many side effects especially in the location Kristine is receiving it. Her right shoulder has developed a slight redness and her skin will continue to darken in the treated area. The redness will likely recede but could last permanently. To answer a question that comes up a lot, there’s little to no risk of infertility since the radiation is not being administered anywhere near the abdomen or groin. There is a chance that her esophagus could be “burned” since the treatment is occurring so close to Kristine’s throat. If her throat were affected it could cause painful swallowing for a short time and those who experience this side effect often lose a good deal of weight because they avoid the pain that eating brings. The doctor is careful at each appointment to ask Kristine if she’s experiencing any pain from swallowing or eating. So far she is fortunate that this has not been an issue.

Kristine’s physical strength is improving all the time, but is still a long way from where it used to be. This is evident each time she pushes to climb the stairs or walk at a usual pace, as she herself forgets her current limits -- or perhaps just refuses to accept them. The little bit of hair that had grown back fell out again a few weeks after her final cycle of chemo and has been stubborn to show any sign of regeneration since. No one can really explain this other than to say that, “it can take time.”

People who see Kristine these days comment on how amazing she looks and how vibrant she is. These statements have ceased to be qualified on a relative scale of someone who, “…has been through what she’s been through” and instead are made using a normal, healthy person’s scale, the kind of scale reserved for friends without cancer. I think this observation illustrates just how well Kristine is doing.


There are many things that Kristine now avoids and probably will for some time. Things that developed a strong association to the emotional and physical stress that came with nine months of cancer therapy. The smell and taste of lemon from the candies she sucked on to mask the metallic taste of saline port injections, for example, bring back discomforting memories.

For me, blogging has come to have a similar association. As much as it has been a healthy outlet for me and a helpful tool to keep you all informed, when I sit down to write one of these postings I’m forced to confront truths that seem easier to avoid -- the reality of Kristine’s struggles and the uncertainty of what the future holds.

My hiatus from blogging for the past five weeks was not meant to be irresponsible or disrespectful in anyway, and I apologize if it seemed that way. The break was a way for me to embrace a little bit of normalcy and more importantly to focus on the one thing that matters most, Kristine. The support you have all shown to Kristine and I has been overwhelming. Your generosity and genuine concern have been extraordinary. But I also have to thank you for your patience with my inconsistent communication as Kristine and I try to make sense out of the next phase of our lives.

I do think that as we enter this new phase it’s only fitting that Kristine begin contributing her voice to the blog. So, with that, you will be hearing a little less from me and a lot more from the woman who has been a driving force and source of inspiration to me and to so many others. Kristine plans to start updating the site regularly to meet the needs of her loyal “fan base” and to continue to tell her story into its next chapter.