Slow and Steady

Not much has changed since the last post. Kristine is progressing well physically. She is able to walk with more confidence and with a slightly longer stride. She is still walking slowly with a cane and still requires someone to spot her in case she loses her balance. Her arm is flaccid and uncomfortable as it continues to separate away from the shoulder. She has been receiving electrical stimulation therapy around the shoulder to encourage the muscle's tone. The grip in her hand is more controlled and she is able, at times, to extend her arm at the elbow.

We are both sleeping better. Kristine has been taking a single sleeping pill before bed which seems to help with her anxiety. She will usually wake up no more than once to change resting positions and again to use the bathroom. Of course, with the extra steps needed to get ready in the morning and to bed at night we are certainly not getting as much rest as we would like.

Friends have been great about helping -- picking Kristine up each weekday from rehab and spending time with her until I get home. Kristine loves to hear other people talk to her about what's going on in their lives and the troubles they have. I think some resist sharing what they believe are trivial details in comparison to what Kristine is going through. But Kristine loves to listen -- it helps her escape from her reality. She avoids talking about her own issues as much as she can.

Emotionally Kristine is struggling a bit. She told me the other day that she is constantly preoccupied with her affliction and the weight that she bears dealing with its consequences. She said that she does all she can just to hold it together without breaking down into tears.

Her anxiety is primarily centered around the choices (or lack of choices) that she has to make in fighting a recurrent cancer. Although the cancer in her brain has been removed or destroyed from the gamma knife radiation, she still has several lung metastases. And, as the days go on, the swelling in Kristine's right neck and shoulder have increased slightly, while she has simultaneously noticed more neck pain. This could be related to the additional load that her right arm has had to take on to compensate for her paralysis. However, we have both been around the block enough to know that this likely the ominous sign of a more sinister force at work. Let's hope that we are wrong this time.