9/5 - Another Few Months

It has been a long, exhausting road. Kristine has spent half of a year either consumed by an intense chemotherapy regiment or weakened by its occupation of her body. She has endured the physical demands of a major surgery to one of life's critical organs as well as a number of major blood vessels. Through all of this she has maintained a tremendous level of courage, fortitude and resolve. Although I doubt she knows any other way to live her life.

But all the needles, hospital visits, time lost and time erased, pain, discomfort, sleeplessness and general lack of normalcy over this extended period of time has not occurred without taking a toll. While the scars that run down Kristine's chest have healed well in just a couple of weeks, the process of healing mentally is slow and easily thrown off course. And nothing can mess with the mind quite like dealing with news of additional treatment.

We met with Dr. Staddon today for the first time since Kristine's surgery. He was happy with the outcome of the pathology studies that showed 90% of the resected tumor to be dead. He commented on how amazing Kristine was doing clinically for someone who had just recently had the operation she did. And he outlined the next steps in Kristine's treatment plan.

Although we knew from the outcome of the surgery that radiation would be necessary in a small area near Kristine's shoulder and that additional chemotherapy cycles would be necessary (or at least highly recommended) to reduce the likelihood of future recurrence, neither of us was prepared to hear it in such certain terms. The doctor's plan includes 4 additional cycles of chemo that will begin on September 24th -- this time one drug (Ifex) instead of two, over five days instead of four, every third week. Kristine will also receive local radiation once everyday for a full month beginning in October.

The reality of another 3+ months of this tiring routine hit Kristine hard -- the progress of mental healing almost immediately blocked if not reversed. For me the sadness and disappointment in Kristine's eyes coupled with my own recognition of the difficulties in managing her treatment schedule, my job and the daily responsibilities of life sent a sharp and overwhelming stress coursing through my system.

But like everything else we have been through, we will manage our way through this, keeping perspective on the fact that this is all quite positive a prognosis and there seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel. As Kristine said to me the other day, shortly after we had finished a fairly trivial argument stemming from pure exhaustion and frustration, "we're doing OK."

We're doing O.K.