Goldilocks

Kristine's first week at home went pretty well especially compared to her difficult first day. The nights have remained restless as Kristine struggles to stay comfortable for more than a few hours. Since she can't change positions easily herself, I am called to duty -- to turn her on her side or back and move her stiff arms and legs. The first three days we changed beds and rooms each night. The first night we didn't have any success in our own bed, which Kristine thought was too soft. So we tried a harder fold-out sofa option in our den, but that was too hard. We finally ended up in our guest room where, although not just right, the bed provides an adequate level of firmness and comfort.

Kristine's mama bear and papa bear came in over the weekend to spend Thanksgiving with us. They plan to stay for another week to ease Kristine's transition into the next stage of her rehab. They will also provide support through some critical appointments Kristine has this week.

On Tuesday, we will visit Kristine's oncologist for a follow up visit and to discuss the next stage of her treatment. Although we know what the doctor will offer in terms of treatment options -- a new chemotherapy drug that has proven more successful than previous drugs against sarcomas -- I can not say with any certainty how Kristine wishes to proceed. Recently, she has been skeptical of the raw diet but continues to be critical of chemotherapy. I am sympathetic to her struggle with this difficult decision as there is no perfect porridge. To complicate the matter her right shoulder has recently begun to present swelling and hardness, a symptom similar to the one that presented 2 years ago, when Kristine first found out that she had cancer. This new symptom has been weighing heavily on all of our minds these past few days.

On Wednesday, Kristine will have her Gamma Knife radiation. The procedure is out-patient and non-invasive. It works by shooting over 200 beams of low grade radiation at very precise points to eradicate the tumor. The point of the beams' convergence create a very intense grade of radiation that kills the cells at that point. This methodology allows the radiation to destroy just the tumor cells without damaging the surrounding tissue as with standard radiation. The only side effect could be some temporary motor instability that may not occur for several months.

Kristine and the rest of are, as always, taking things day by day. We are hoping and praying that some good news is on its way and that maybe there is a solution that will turn out just right and let us get back to something resembling normal lives.