4/9 - Day 1, Cycle 2: Here We Go Again

Counter to what most would imagine the anticipation and anxiety surrounding this second cycle of chemotherapy, which began today, was far greater than the first. The limited experience we brought with us this time around gave us the knowledge and understanding to mitigate our fears. However, we were now burdened with the acute awareness of what was about to begin -- another week of chemotherapy.

For those surrounding Kristine this week meant more than just a hectic itinerary, long visits to the cancer center and remembering medication schedules. After all, we have become fairly accustom to these minor inconveniences over the past several weeks. Instead what lie ahead was much less superficial. The week of treatment represents the implausible reality of this disease and its occupancy. The dynamic and vivacious Kristine that brightens our mood, for a few days slips into an altered state, dopey and listless as the medication takes affect.

For Kristine, chemotherapy week has a different connotation. It holds needles, nausea, hazy sight, night sweats, breathlessness, the almost instant metallic taste of saline solution as it’s injected into the blood, the uncomfortable pressure of fluid retention, the prospect of another visit to the ER and the many other discomforts that the week seems to bring.

Kristine was able to enjoy her last few days before this next cycle of chemo with good friends from San Francisco (Alison, Leah and Megan) who were in visiting for the weekend. Their visit provided a needed distraction in the days prior to treatment. As Sunday neared and friends traveled home, Kristine’s anxiety about her treatment intensified. Although she knows logically that it will ultimately benefit her, emotionally it is difficult to get past the discomfort associated with the days to come. And who can blame her? I would most definitely be crying like a school boy if expected to endure such circumstance.

The first day of cycle 2 has come and gone and I'm happy to report that it wasn't so bad. Kristine is much more alert than she was at this time last cycle. She still has a very short memory for any activity that took place even a few minutes prior (a common side effect of the chemotherapy medication). But she is functioning well with a great appetite and energy level. She’s even bossing me around when she’s awake (a common side effect of being a Becker). However, I've adapted and figure that if I just hold out long enough she might just forget.

Until tomorrow.
Ryan