Friends, Friends and more Friends!

Ryan always makes fun of me because I make friends everywhere I go. I have made friends in one day Excel classes and more friends traveling and I have even made a friend on an airplane. So it would only be fitting that I would make friends during cancer. I have not made many because I was not really in to going to support groups. I have never felt like getting together with a bunch of cancer patients and hearing each others sad stories. Maybe that is not what it would be like but in my mind I saw a bunch of bald, crying and desperate people feeling sorry for themselves. Not my cup of tea.

The first friend I made was after my second round of chemo. I was in for my follow up appointment and was waiting for a shot of some sort when I started talking to this girl named Andrea. She was in for her first round of chemo. We are about the same age which you don't see very often. As we were talking, of course she asks me what kind of cancer I have and I tell her. I then ask her. She tells me she has IBC breast cancer. (Which is a very aggressive and rare form of breast cancer.) We start giving more details about our situations to find out that we are both stage IV and both have extremely aggressive cancers. We then start comparing chemo treatments. I have to go 4 times a week with follow up treatments at home in the evenings and weekends and she tells me that she only comes once every three weeks. I was very surprised. I assumed that she had not received all of the details. Andrea then asked the chemo nurse to make sure and she confirmed her schedule. I then say, " How can you come only once every three weeks and my chemo lasts a full week." She then replies, "Well that is probably because they want to save you more then they want to save me." We both start cracking up and I knew right then and there that I had just made my first cancer friend. Since that day we have seen each other go through major operations. (She had a double mastectomy 6 weeks after my heart surgery.) She unfortunately did not receive the break I have and her cancer has all ready come back. She now goes to chemo once a week for at least the next year. I have been lucky enough to have met her family and friends and like me she has lots of great support. I wanted to tell you all about her because she has an amazing blog and I love to read it. Unlike me she is extremely good at keeping up with her postings. She also has six amazing kids that I have been lucky enough to meet. If you get a chance check out the site at www.punkrockmommy.org

The next friend I made was in radiation. Her name is Valerie. To be fair my mom actually met her mom while we both were there for treatment. I later ran into them again and introduced myself. Valerie is also my age and she has a brain tumor. Our lives are so similar it is scary. We were both extremely independent people before cancer made us ask for help. It is a hard thing when you are used to being so independent to then need people to help you. I have become quite good at just saying, "thanks" and not feeling like I have to return the favor. The crazy part about Valerie is that she had brain surgery the first time around and they thought they got everything but as it turns out they did not. She has since had a second surgery and when they removed the tumor she lost most of her short term memory. Now she has to have 24 hour supervision. After running into her a few times at radiation we decided to get together for lunch. She then gave me her number and told me while laughing, "don't feel bad if I can't remember you tomorrow."

I guess the reason I am telling you about my new friends is that I want you to know that there are a lot of people like me out there that are just making the best of a bad situation. I think the one link that I have most in common with both Andrea and Valerie is that we have not lost our sense of humor. A lot of the time cancer pretty much sucks but sometimes it is pretty damn funny. I love to surround myself with people who can help me find the humor in all of this craziness.