Just because you're losing, doesn't mean you're lost

Kristine has officially reached the end of her rope staying at the hospital now for a full week. Her muscles and joints are sore from being in bed for hours and days on end. She has become very depressed with her situation and sitting around inactive and dwelling on it just exacerbates her mood. The doctor was going to give her an antidepressant but has decided to wait until she can talk to the staff psychologist at the rehab center. This is, of course, preferable so that she can start on a comprehensive plan rather than applying the current ad hoc treatment tactics where every problem has a solution in pill form.

The good news is that Kristine has been cleared for transfer today. The cardiologist, Dr. Miles, is mildly concerned about her irregular heart rate. Concerned enough that under normal circumstances she probably would have left here with a pacemaker. Her heart pauses for seconds at a time -- anywhere from 4-8 seconds. An eight second or longer pause is enough to make her pass out. However, neither Miles nor Staddon feels that it is urgent to have the surgery when there are more urgent issues to contend with, like getting Kristine moving, walking and back in good mental health. Fortunately she will be under observation at the center for at least a couple of weeks.

Kristine has started to talk on the phone as long as she doesn't have to talk about herself too much. She slips into a better mood when she is engaged in conversation about other people's drama. She is still not up for visitors, but hopefully that will change once she has started rehab.

At this point we are just trying to keep her upbeat, distracted from the pain and moving forward toward the future. Stealing from the lyrics by the band Coldplay, "just because I'm losing, doesn't mean I'm lost, doesn't mean I'll stop." I am confident that Kristine will find her way and push ahead. She just needs more time to gather the strength and believe in herself again.