The Truth of The Matter

I am getting a lot of texts from people asking me how I am. I am not sure if I should write about what is going on because I know so many of you are worried already. I am not going to sugar coat this situation. It is extremely hard and I am stuggling. I am still very positive that this can work but there are a few obsticles that need to be figured out. I will not give up that easy. It has not even been a week yet. So hold on to your panties and don't freak out too much.

The Oleander treatment never made me feel nausous but I did have some crazy side effects. Late on the first day, I started having muscle spasms on my left side. Both my leg and arm would jump about 6 inches and would not stop for about two minutes. The first time was really weird and I just ignored it and kept doing my thing. The next day I continued the treatment and then the spasms started again. Now I started to get concerned. I walked over to see Neville but he was not feeling well hmself and his wife went to talk to him about what was happening. He had said he had never heard of such symptoms and I should stay the course and just cut back my intake by 50%. When I got back to my room the spasms continued and I started to finally get a little freaked out. I was also feeling extremely weak and mentally exhausted. Very similiar to how I felt the second week of my chemo schedule. The simplest thoughts would make me break down in tears. The biggest difference was I was alone. I stopped the treatment cold turkey and started feeling better yesterday. I went to the local mall and saw the movie Stepbrothers. It was exactly what I needed to laugh a little.

I can not even begin to tell you how many people offered to come and help me down here but I refused and thought that my girlfriend Marie and I would be able to take care of each other. Marie has decided to wait on coming to Ecuador because her scans are coming back excellent. I don't blame her for wanting to waiting I probably would have done the same thing if I were her. I am starting to realize that doing this alone is next to impossible. I have already reached out to my friend Jane who is a flight attendant and can fly stand by sonner then later with out having to pay some crazy plane fare. My mother has offered again and again and to be honest she would probably not worry so much if she was here. I am running out of time on this computer so I will write more tomorrow with an update. Big love to you all and thanks for all of your good vibes. Love ya, Kristine